Got back home.

Just Shantal:

     I went to Bulacan again on the 29th of October to see JM, of course. I have been experiencing a whole lot of disappointments lately. He was the first to say that he wanted to see me and go to my house, he asked permission to. I told him I'd be waiting but he said he wouldn't be coming anymore. It was natural and tolerable for me to be disappointed at that time coz  he said he was coming but can't because he and his family are going to a birthday party. I let the day pass without being with him, or seeing him, even. He also told me that the day after that, he wouldn't be able to come to my house, too, for a friend of his will be celebrating his birthday. I became kind of doubtful about that but figured out a way not to. Luckily, my best friend, Farrah, is coming over because we had plans to go swimming that day. We went on without JM and enjoyed a little.

     It was Wednesday, the 31st, Halloween, I asked him if he could go to my house even for that morning. He wasn't returning my texts so I decided to call him around noon and he said that he just woke up. That was rude, but I know he deserves sleep. Because of his "late awakening", he couldn't come anymore. That time was wasted. REALLY WASTED. Those three days that I spent staying in my house, waiting to be with him really went straight to waste. I kind of wished that I didn't go home anymore. Though I had some time with my best friend, JM's absence really left a hole inside me. I hate that feeling. It made me think that JM doesn't want to be with me anymore.

     Lately, I have been talking to my best friend, my cousin, and her ex (which by the way became my friend) telling them that I felt JM being cold. Some things about that matter have been settled with him. He told me that he was just busy. I also figured out that if I sought more attention, he'd lose his focus on a lot of things. It's just that I can't accept how much he's changed in a flash. It's like I've done something wrong for him to be like that. We are better now, but there is still that small of a doubt that he may be not that into me anymore. Just sayin'. If he doesn't change on being like this, then maybe there'll be no hope for us anymore.

Will I be forever alone though we are "together" ? </3